Real Life

It was this crazy moment.  We were tied with our opponent and were about to attempt the last goal kick in our shootout.  The entire game rested on a little girl on our team who is maybe 8 years old.  The coach of the opposing team was standing mere feet from me as he watched her approach the ball.  The smirk on his face said it all.  He knew they were about to win bc this little girl didn't stand a chance against his goalie.  I threw prayers up faster than I can normally think.  And when the ball hit the net of the goal, I flew out of my chair and screamed louder than I even knew I could.


We won the game.  We won because the little kids on my boys' soccer team had worked their butts off at practice twice a week.  Most of them played the entire game without a chance to sit out.  They ran up and down the field with energy and determination through the entire game because they knew what they wanted...to win!


Their coaches prepped them before the game.  They told them the truth.  "Playing soccer is about more than having fun.  We want you to be winners today!"


Cause the whole "Everyone is a winner" mentality is a bunch of bullcrap.


No, everyone is not a winner!  No, everyone doesn't deserve a trophy!  Now, obviously, I think it's sweet that every kid who participates gets a little trophy to take home.  But I think it's crazy that people seem to be thrilled with the idea of teaching their kids that winning doesn't matter.  That all that really matters is that you have fun in the process.


It only matters if you have fun when you're doing something?  Well, that's interesting because I don't think it's fun to do laundry, but I do it anyway because my kids need clean clothes.  I've never gotten a trophy for seeing that my family has clean clothes to wear.  I don't really think cooking is fun either, but I do it anyway because the whole you have to eat to live thing seems like it might be true.  Where's my cooking trophy?  And then there's the task of cleaning my boys' bathroom.  Honestly, their bathroom scares me.  It can't be safe to enter that room without wearing a hazmat suit, but I do it anyway because my boys need a clean place to take care of their business.  Bathroom cleaning trophy, where you at?


You see, life isn't about having fun.  If it was, my husband wouldn't work and we would all lay around kissing and cuddling and dancing with ladybugs on our heads.  My kids wouldn't do schoolwork because that's not fun.  We'd eat a lot of funnel cakes.  (Funnel cakes are more fun to eat than carrots.)


Who decided that life should be all about fun and who decided that was a great lesson for our kids?  Who decided that you shouldn't go over-the-top with your cheering at children's sport's events because it might send the wrong message to our children...you know, the message that winning is awesome!?!  The message that if you work hard for something and achieve your goals, then you are a winner.  The message that winning opens doors.  The message that life isn't just about having fun.  It's also about hard work, determination, blood, sweat, and tears.  It's about never giving up.  Keep on keeping on, even if giving up is easier and maybe even more fun.


People that spend their lives having fun turn into losers.  I'm sorry, but it's true.  The kids who partied their way through high school and college...where are they now?  Still living with mom and dad?   Jobless?  Alone?  Who's having fun now, all you fun-followers?


If we raise our children to believe that winning doesn't matter.  That all that matters is if we have a good time, then we are setting them up for failure.  We aren't teaching them, "When the going get's tough, the tough get going."  We are teaching them, "When the going get's tough, do something more fun."  We're teaching them that having fun matters more than being successful.


Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken submitted his secret chicken recipe 1009 times before it was accepted.  He didn't walk away with a little trophy the other 1008 times.  He walked away feeling like a loser.  And it drove him to success.


Thomas Edison was told that he was stupid and fired from two jobs for not being productive enough.  He had 1000 failed attempts at creating a light bulb before one of his ideas worked.  No one patted him on the head, handed him a trophy for his failed light bulb creations, and sent him on his way after the 999 failed attempts.  It was his 999 failures that led him to the design of the light bulb, not 999 little trophies. 


Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.  Michael Jordan!  Jordan says, "I have missed more than 9000 shots in my career.  I have lost almost 300 games.  On 26 occasions, I have been entrusted to take the winning shot, and I missed.  I have failed over and over again in my life.  And that is why I succeed."  Drive to succeed is what led Michael Jordan to be one of the most successful basketball players to date.  Not fun.


If we hand our children a trophy every time they do something, they'll come to expect it.  The rude awakening comes when they are adults and realize the "Have fun.  Here's your trophy" deal was not real life.  We set our kids up for failure by teaching them that having fun is what matters most.  Because, as you and I know, life is not about having fun.


I love what my cute hubby/soccer coach shared with the kids before the game.  He said, "I should probably tell you that it doesn't matter who wins today as long as we have fun.  But I disagree.  If parents wanted their kids to have fun, they'd have them play against puppies and kitties.  Let's go out there and win!" 


Not everyone can be a winner.  That's what life is really about.  For every winner there's a loser.  For every winner, there's someone who stopped just short of success because it wasn't fun any more.  And, you know what else, sometimes you try your hardest, and you still lose.  Life's about that too!

I want my kids to have fun.  I want them to get cute little trophies just because.  I want them to see how proud I am of them, whether they win or lose.  But I also want them to realize that winning is awesome.  Winning means special ceremonies and championship trophies when you're young, but winning as an adult means promotions, successful marriages, and close-knit families.  Winning means everything as an adult.  And that's real life.

The Hunger Games Is Evil. Real Or Not Real?

For days, it consumed my everything.  Nothing else seemed to matter.  Certain events that occurred would replay in my mind over and over, and I found myself pondering things I'd never even thought of before.  

The premise of the trilogy sounds horrific.  Twenty-four children and teenagers force to fight to the death.  In an arena.  While everyone else watched.

I shudder as I imagine the atrocity of it all.  It is horrific.  It is violent.  But it is also a beautiful story.  It's a story woven with love, deceit, betrayal, sacrifice, loss, victory, and so much more.

The Hunger Games.  It's all anyone can talk about right now, and rightly so.  I saw the movie on opening night before I read the trilogy and was riveted.  The movie, in my opinion, is perfect.  It's not gory.  There aren't sex scenes.  It's just a story.  A story of overcoming unspeakable hurdles and the price one pays for standing up for what they believe is right.

Shortly before it arrived in theaters, I began to see criticisms from Christians.  They deemed it a vile movie, far removed from the types of things Christians should be watching for entertainment.  And I'm not gonna lie.  That's one of the things that first got me interested on this movie.  I wondered if it was one of those little Christian boycotting bandwagon things or if this movie really was as evil as some made it seem.  (I'm not one to jump on Christian bandwagons, in case you didn't catch that.  I'd love to share why, but that's a whole other post.)

I spent a couple days reading the first book.  (I had seen the movie, after all, and knew exactly how it ended.)  I finished the second book in less than twenty-four hours and the third book in roughly half that time.  All while caring for my children and my house.  It was that consuming, that amazing, and that thought-provoking.

I never read fiction.  I honestly feel like it's a complete waste of time.  There are so many other books out there that are real and can impact your life that I have never really seen the point in wasting time reading a book about made-up stuff.  But The Hunger Games is different.

The Hunger Games trilogy is an amazing story.  After reading the story, I walked away with four basic truths that I felt resounded throughout the book.  Truths that I still mull over and consider...days after reading the last page.

1.  Apart from God, man is naturally evil.

To imagine a world where the deaths of children are celebrated, where the things of this world are valued above human souls is not really that far-fetched.  America has been blessed more than any other country, and I think sometimes it's hard for us to imagine such a thing actually happening.  But it does happen all over the world.  As I type this, people in other countries are being tortured and killed.  Joseph Kony has been mutilating and killing innocent people for over 26 years in Uganda and Sudan.  America publicly denounces such atrocities while I have heard we are also simultaneously funding the very people that allow this man to torture their people.  Their children.  OUR money is being utilized to help this evil man.
And while I spend my day casually trying to decide which Coach purse matches my outfit best, there are those in other countries who struggle just to live through the day without dying from starvation, dehydration, and diseases.  Cruelty is real in this world.  America may be far-removed from the thick of it and there might not be much that we, as individuals, can do to change things, but that doesn't take away the fact that it does exist.

2.  Life is a sacred gift from God, and it should be treated as such.

Man was created in the image of God.  We were created as a display of God's glory.  God breathed life into us, and He will remove us from this world in His own heavenly timing.   I don't believe the Bible specifies how we are to handle bodies once their soul has passed from this life to the next, but I know that we are expected to honor the dead by treating their bodies with respect.

3.  You should always stand up for your beliefs.  It comes with a cost, but it's better to suffer than to lose who you are.

The hero or heroin standing up for what they know to be right...  It's the stuff that some of the finest movies and books have their plots centered around.  Would you cave under pressure, or would you continue fighting for what you believe with all your heart is the right thing?  The Hunger Games is a book about going against the flow, despite the consequences, because you want to be on the side of right.  It's a book about sacrifice and loss because sometimes that's what it takes to do the right thing.  Doing the right thing is't always the easiest path to take, but it's the path we should take.  No matter what.

4.  Love is more than a feeling.  It's a decision.

Team Gale?  Or Team Peeta?   In so many stories (stories that I love!!!!), the guy and the gal are irresistibly in love.  It consumes their life.  Their everything.  They get married.  They have kids.  And they live happily ever after.  Only, in real life, that doesn't happen so much anymore.  People grow bored after being with the same person for too long.  They don't get that little feeling in their throat, their heart doesn't flitter, they don't feel like skipping down the streets and proclaiming their love anymore.  They've grown apart, they say.  They get divorced.
But the Bible says love is more than a feeling.  Yes, of course, it's a feeling.  But what I'm saying is that it's not just that.  Of course, you want to skip and sing and lay around eating cupcakes in fields of daisies when you are in love.  But love is also work.  And it's not always easy.  You don't always agree, but when you make a commitment to "love" someone till "death do you part," it is just that.  A commitment.
People change.  Circumstances change.  But if you truly love someone, you will stand by them through the good and the bad.  Love isn't always Daisies and Buttercups.  It's not always frolicking and fun.  It's sticking by your partner no matter what.  Loving them so much that you would never consider living without them.

There are so many truths that you can pull from this wonderful set of books.  There are so many things you will ponder long after you've closed the book and read it's final words.  Above all else, it's a book that makes you think.  If you haven't read it yet, I encourage you to buy the set (at Target!) and hunker down for a few days.  Then, call me so we can chat because I'm still thinking about it nonstop and I'm dying to know what you think....

The Hunger Games is amazing?  Real or not real?

Bought With a Price

She stood there.  Anxious.  I do not know her, but I watched as she stood in front of all of us nervously smiling at the man beside her and holding back tears as her testimony was read aloud.  Tears formed in my eyes as I listened.

She was raised in a loving Christian home.  After praying a prayer of salvation, she spent her childhood doing and saying all the right things.  She helped chaperone church functions.    Her words describe a girl who was going to Heaven.  A girl who never questioned such a thing because she was a perfect specimen of what a Christian says and does.

And, then the world around her crumbled.  While this girl was a sophomore in college, her mother was diagnosed with cancer.  It set her back, but after prayer, she felt confirmation from God that her mother would be fine.  That she would heal.  Eight months after her mother's diagnosis, she laid her mother in the ground and questioned everything she had ever known.

I cried as I listened because it is so eerily similar to my story.  No, I never felt confirmation from God that my mother would be healed.  But I remember like it was yesterday - the heart-crushing moment as my family stood over my mother's non-responsive body and were told she had a "zero percent chance" of recovering.  I remember the pain of walking away from my mother's grave, freshly covered in beautiful flowers, and knowing that was it.  My life was to go on without her.

The testimony of the girl I do not know continued to be read as she stood in the baptismal waters with looks of remembrance, happiness, and nervousness taking over her face as each emotion swept over her body.

Her mother was gone, but the memories lived on for this girl.  The loneliness, the hopelessness she felt after her mother's death were the real deal.  Everything she had thought she had ever known didn't seem to fit together anymore.  In the despair of those moments, she turned to God.   REALLY turned to God.  He was there all along, but she hadn't fully trusted in Him.  The moment she did, her life was changed.

The crowd clapped as she was dunked into the baptismal waters.  Her baptism -  a symbol of Christ's death, burial, and resurrection.  I know I wasn't the only one tearing up as she emerged from the water.

I love Easter with all the pink and the bunnies!  I love the cake and the pie and the ham and the Easter egg hunts.  I love any excuse to hang out with family.  I love Easter clothes and cute little baskets with embroidered fabric liners.  The whole holiday is just one big bundle of cuteness!

But I also know that Easter is about so much more.  It's about God sacrificing His son for us.  It's about Jesus's death on the cross. It's about His burial in a borrowed tomb.  It's about His resurrection three days later!

Bunnies are beautiful, but you know what's more beautiful?  The fact that God can take traumatic and painful circumstances and use them to bring about good in our lives.  The fact that God can take a situation that Satan felt confident would break us down and use the resulting pain to draw us closer to Him is a lovely truth.

When God allows painful circumstances into your life, don't push Him away. Don't allow Satan to draw you away from the only One who will ever make you feel whole.

The girl that stood in the baptismal waters yesterday morning will see her mother again.  And one day, I will see my mother again too.  That's the other beautiful thing about Easter.  Those who have accepted Christ's gift of salvation WILL be reunited one day in Heaven.

Easter is one day.  This year, it has already come and gone.  But for those of us who are saved, it is a holiday we remember all year.  It a beautiful thing that Christ did for us.  He sacrificed His life so that I might see my mother again.  So that the girl who I watched be baptized yesterday would see her mother again.  So that my friend Jessica will see her precious baby again.  So that myself and many of my friends will finally see the precious babies death stole from us before they were even born.  So that we can spend an eternity with Him and far from the fiery eternity we deserve.  So that, most importantly, God's glory can be displayed.

Because of His grace.  And mercy.  We are saved.  We were set apart and bought with a price.

Thank you, Jesus for paying the debt I could not pay.

The words of my favorite song, a song hundreds of us sang in unison yesterday as a reminder of God's blessed gift to us, still ring in my head...

"In Christ alone, my hope is found.  He is my life, my strength, my song.... From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny.  No power of hell, no scheme of man can ever pluck me from His hand till He returns or calls me home. Here in the power of Christ I'll stand."

Happy Easter!

To Really Suffer

America seems like it is falling apart.

National debt continues to rise and so does unemployment.  Many experts claim that our country is in the full throes of a depression.  It's scary.

While there are many Americans legitimately suffering all across our country, many of us are piling ourselves into this category with them because we feel we are "suffering" too.

We "suffer" because we can't afford to go to Chick Fil A anymore.  (We have to eat at McDonald's instead.) We "suffer" because we can't afford cable.  Or internet.  We "suffer" because we have to throw another blanket on ourselves at night because turning the heat up just costs too much.  We "suffer" because we have to go to the doctor...again.  (All these sinus infections are making us miserable!)  We "suffer" because we can't send our kids to sports camp, because we can't afford ballet lessons for our daughter, because we can't afford to buy a Wii.

Oh, yeah.  We have it bad.

While we mourn the inability to afford eating at Chick Fil A, orphans in Uganda count their lucky stars if they receive one meal a day.  And they are the lucky ones.  Other children are literally starving as their families struggle to provide for them.

While we bemoan the fact that we can't turn up the heat at night and must throw on an extra blanket instead, many orphans in Uganda don't have blankets or mattresses.  Often times the ones that have them are sleeping on 1 inch thick pieces of foam soaked with urine and crawling with bed bugs.  

While we complain that we feel like our doctor's best friend because we have to make so many trips to his office, children in Uganda are dying because they don't have money to be seen by doctors for even life-threatening conditions.

Children in Uganda don't know what it's like to not have a Wii or ballet lessons.  They don't know what it's like to be the kid who can't afford to attend sports camp one summer.  They don't know what it's like because they are lucky if they live somewhere where there is electricity.  They are lucky if they are able to eat one meal a day.  They are lucky if they have decent clothes to wear.

My cousin serves as a missionary in Uganda.  He currently runs a seminary there where he is training pastors.  Many of the pastors there serve as the pastor to multiple churches and are eager to spread God's Word to their people.   It is through the mission work of my cousin and others like him, that they are able to accomplish this.

While spending most of his time raising up Ugandan pastors, my cousin also works closely with an orphanage.  He sees orphans and pastor's children, alike, in old, dirty, and torn clothes.  He sees little boys forced to wear dresses because they have nothing else to wear.  On a recent visit with a pastor who had started over 40 churches, he learned that this pastor had a daughter who was dying and could not be seen by doctors because of an outstanding medical bill he could not pay.  For just $13, my cousin was able to help this man get his daughter the care she needed. A series of shots saved this girl's life from the malaria, typhoid, and chicken pox which were ravaging her body!

This story, coupled with seeing an actual mattress from a Ugandan orphanage at a women's conference several months ago, spurred in my heart the desire to do something (however small) to make a difference in the lives of some of these children.

A mattress and blanket taken from an orphanage.  These were being used by several children each night. 

The other day, I filled up a large flat rate Priority Mail box.  I went around my house and found the nicest things I could - things that were basically new,  just without the tags.  I picked out 12 of my favorite little girl dresses...the ones with bows and bright colors and layers of tulle.  I found 3 cute poofy skirts and paired them with cute little matching shirts.  I threw in 4 fun little stuffed animals and a bag of brand new makeup (from my stash) for my cousin's wife.  It only cost me $61 to ship this box with things for 20 people.   Though my small contribution only amounted to spending about $3 per person, the gifts will be worth so much more to the children receiving them.

We're each only given one shot at this thing called life.  Let's not sit around in our recliners and sulk because we have it bad.  Let's not have a continual pity party for ourselves while we rest in clean beds with clean blankets in a house with heat and air conditioning.  Help someone you don't know.  Make the day of a child who literally has nothing.  Get out of your recliner and give of yourself!



James 2:15-16

If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,” and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that?

Deuteronomy 16:17

Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the LORD your God which He has given you.

*****If you would like to ship a box full of goodies to orphans in Uganda, please send it to this address.

Mr. Stephen Napier

P.O. Box 1785

Jinja, Uganda

Please keep in mind that boxes which are not sent through Priority Mail take much longer to make the journey to Uganda and are often rummaged through and sometimes completely misplaced.  Priority Mail provides assurance that it will most likely make it to it's destination.  Also, please make sure the items you are shipping are legal, according to Unites States customs and Ugandan law.  When picking up mail in Uganda, people must "tip" the post office for handling their packages carefully.  When listing the value of  the items you are shipping, please also be aware that they charge larger "tips" for packages worth more and that more costly packages are often rummaged through before they make it to true recipient of the package. This is a pretty obvious one, but please also remember that Uganda is hot.  Snowsuits and sweaters aren't exactly on their list of needs.

*****If you do not have items to send but are interested in helping my cousin's mission work, you can still help.  Financial support for the Napier’s work in East Africa can be sent to Global Outreach at the address below. Please note all gifts for the “Napier’s ministry” (3378). The account designated to provide food and care for orphans and pastor's children is "Account # 3600."  You can also give online with a one-time or recurring donation.  Click on Stephen and Esther Napier’s giving tab. All contributions will receive a tax deductible receipt.

Global Outreach International

P.O. Box 1
Tupelo, MS 38802

II Corinthians 9:7
Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

Here I Go Again...

I need more time. I need more time to get the things done that I need to get done. And I need more time to get the things done that are just plain fun. Homeschooling has totally depleted all of my spare time and my future spare time for at least another 16 years. (Ugh!) What's a girl to do?

Normal homeschool moms would decide that's just the way it goes and get over it. They would acknowledge the fact that God led them to homeschool for a reason. They would decide that God knew of their plight and that, in His infinite wisdom, He still chose for their lives to be void of spare time. This is what the normal homeschool moms think. I think.

But I am not normal. In fact, sometimes I think I am borderline crazy. (I mean, I homeschool. And that goes with the territory, or so they say...)

Because I need to do something with my time other than homeschool and cook and clean and blah, blah, blah, I am going to make another random declaration on my blog.

February is Fabulous and Free (or mostly free) February.

All month, I will dedicate my non-existent spare time to making things for free or mostly free. I added the free part, I guess, because it wasn't enough of a challenge to just make stuff nonstop all month.

I'm super-excited to show off my first project.

Just like every other girl on the planet, I have a jewelry armoire. I've always thought they were ugly, but I got one because it's pretty much the only solution out there for the gobs of jewelry it takes to be a girl. I've hidden mine in my closet from day one, but as years passed, I realized my ugly jewelry armoire was no longer able to fulfill it's role in my life. I had my drawers so cluttered with buttons and momentos and other knick-knacks that I couldn't even shut it. Not only did my ugly jewelry armoire drive my husband and I crazy, but it also enticed my two year old daughter to play with it's contents, leaving me with broken necklaces. You see where I am going with this?

I combed the internet for ideas. I ransacked my brain. I obsessed over idea after idea until I created my own solution...one that got me excited. Originally, I intended to build my new jewelry organizer by myself. However, my dear little husband was quick to offer up his building services. (Honestly, I think he just wanted to be sure our children still had a mother after the project was completed.)

This project could have just cost us about $5 to make using scraps of wood we already possessed. However, your truly is not so up to date on wood terminology and confused my husband into thinking our wood scrap pile couldn't be used.. (Note: Using the term 2X4 does not refer to just any smaller sized wood scrap. It actually only refers to a piece of wood roughly that size. Who would have thought?)

All in all, this project cost us about $30 to make. Are you impressed? Cause I am. Ugly armoires cost way more than that...like $100 more. And they aren't nifty or cute like this thing.


The other brilliant thing about this project is that our boys got some wood working lessons.




I wanted this piece to look like a random, old, crooked piece of crap that we picked up on the side of the road, painted, and refashioned into something useful. (You might be scratching your head right now, but stick with me here.) We purposefully lined the boards up crooked, beat it with hammers and screwdrivers, slammed it around in our driveway (the neighbors must have been awfully curious at this point), and I purposely sanded off several layers of the paint I had meticulously painted on to my structure. After all this nonsense, I dug through the supply of home decor sitting in my basement...just waiting for a chance to be used in our house again. I brought up an old picture and some shower curtain hooks. After deconstructing my framed picture, I hung the frame alone on my wooden creation. I decided I couldn't let the cardboard picture frame backing go to waste, so I wrapped it in burlap and hung it with clothespins to my even niftier wooden creation. To top it all off, I strategically placed my shower curtain rings on my now niftier-than-ever wooden creation. The key holder I bought from Target for about $5 and a few nails were the perfect finishers to this project.



One might suspect that this project was easy-peasy from this point on...that would be if you hadn't lifted this cute but crappy hunk of wood. My hubby and I estimate that this piece weighs about 50 pounds. Added to the weight of my jewelry, we were really loading up our wall with a lot of weight. Lucky for me, my stud is good at finding studs.

It took me two days to sort through all the buttons and jewelry and momentos and utter crap I had stored up in my ugly armoire. (I'm telling you...jewelry armoires were invented by the devil!) Finally, my jewelry got a new home. A home I actually like.









Once it was done, I honestly couldn't help but stand back and admire the crappy looking piece of half-painted and sanded wood my husband, children, and I had created. Complete with shower curtain rings, clothespins, and a piece of cardboard, I'm sure it sounds as though it really must be nothing more than a piece of crap. But I love my new crappy jewelry organizer. No more tangled or broken necklaces. Everything has it's place and is on display in my room...which I love.



If you love my crappy wooden structure as much as I do, don't forget to keep checking my blog this month for more crappy projects. Oh, the fun of Fabulous and Free (or mostly free) February!

I Am a Mist

Growing up, I had this perfect life. I had two perfect parents who were perfectly in love with each other. I had two sets of perfect grandparents. The perfect little Christian college I attended and their perfect little assigned seating system led me to meet my perfect-for-me husband. (He was and still is Prince Charming perfect, in case you are wondering.) Shortly after marriage, my perfect hubby and I got a perfect little Yorkie (Are there other breeds of dogs?) and started having perfect little children. All of this was perfection in my eyes. My life was exactly as I had hoped and planned from the time I was a little girl. I was living my dream.

Then, 5 years ago happened. My mom learned her breast cancer had spread throughout her body. She died two years later.

I knew the moment we pulled into the driveway after leaving the hospital and literally watching her die before our very eyes that it was going to be hard. Then, we walked into my mother's house, Remnants of her were everywhere...shoes by the door, her purse, her toothbrush, her medicine. Those were the hard things...the everyday things. There were unfinished quilts, her jewelry, her pillow, her clothes, her hair brush, her nail polish...

This weekend, we laid my grandfather to rest in the same family cemetery where my mother is buried. The funeral and graveside ceremony were beautiful but going back to his house to visit my grandmother and the wife he left behind only brings back reminders that my grandfather is gone. His Bible sat in a bookcase in the living room, his shoes by his bed, his plaid dress shirts hanging in a perfect little row in his room, his cigarettes by the back door for when he needed a quick smoke, his paintings hanging all over the house, his chair...

This weekend, I was hit with the same realization I was hit with 3 years ago when my mother passed away. It's something we all "know," but I honestly don't think we really know it at all until we lose someone we dearly loved. And, even though, it might take the passing of a loved one to help us to really know it, I think it is only a matter of time before we forget we ever knew it at all.

You see, we go through our lives with goals and plans and aspirations. And all these things are great. But somehow along the way, in the midst of all of our planning and living, we forget what really matters in life. We forget that all the things we strive to surround ourselves with on earth are just things that collect dust and get left behind for someone else to deal with when our life on this earth ends.

All this stuff that we choose to surround ourselves with throughout our life really is just stuff. It doesn't matter at all.

This weekend, my grandmother said something to me that really struck me. She didn't cry. She didn't even shed a tear when she said it. She just looked me straight in the eye and said, "Things are different now. Clair is gone, and this house feels so weird without him. I never thought I could go on without him, but I am. And that's how it is. That's what happens."

I cried as I listened to her describe life to me. I cried because I know from experience that this is true. People live and die, but everything around them keeps going. People sift through their things, divide them up among friends and family, they cry and bury them, and then, go on living because this is life.

I looked over my life in my head with an invisible fine tooth comb. I thought about the things I thought that mattered and tried to separate them from the things that really do. I reminded myself of the verse in James, "Now, listen you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."

The Bible says we are mist. More precisely, "a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."

As we pulled into the driveway last night after a long five days away from home to be at the funeral of my beloved grandfather, I made a mental note to not forget the things I know. To not forget the things that really matter. To not preoccupy my thoughts with things that will only rot and collect dust.

I am blessed, yes. But this is life. I am a mist. And during the "little while" that God has ordained for me on this earth, I want the things I obsess about to be the things that matter.

The Life of a Hero

During World War II, he served our country honorably as a ball-turret gunner on a B-17. He saw horrific things and endured unimaginable pain as he watched his fellow soldiers and friends lose their lives for the country he loved. He expressed his experiences in our county's second World War through verses of poetry. A noble war hero, his heart ached for the many lives cut short in the midst of war yet, he was forever grateful to his God for allowing him the opportunity to come home to his true love, Myrtle.

Clair and Myrtle were a perfect match. The noble war hero married a true beauty the day he said "I do" to Myrtle Elizabeth Lively. The strong love between them was undeniable and it was this undeniably strong love that blossomed into a family and six children. Raising six children in the rolling hills of West Virginia was no easy feat, but Clair was determined to support his children and raise them to love the Lord. Not many fathers can maintain the adoration of their children throughout their childhood and adult years, but Clair made it look easy. Quick to crack a joke and known for breaking into song on a whim, Clair's charming and charismatic personality drew people to his presence. Everyone loved him and the feeling was mutual. Clair never met a stranger and was able to see things in people through his sparkling blue eyes that no one else could see. A grandchild flailing in the swimming pool in a desperate attempt to learn how to swim swam like a "fish in the water" in his eyes. The 12 year old granddaughter he saw acting out a part in home videos could announce the news better than his local news anchors and would go on to be a big time reporter some day...he just knew it. His heart was big and it was through his big heart that he looked on those around him.

Even heart attacks and cancer did not stop Clair from living a lively and full life. If this war veteran was anything...anything at all...he was a survivor. When his voice couldn't be heard echoing in the walls of his small hometown church...when he wasn't spending time with his children or grandchildren...when he wasn't creating elaborate handmade birdhouses...when he wasn't writing poetry...or spending time with his love, Myrtle, Clair was painting. A self-taught artist, Clair spent countless hours creating portraits of persons he loved or admired. He painted on canvas, slate, tile, and even ostrich eggs. He painted the backdrops of church baptistries and floor to ceiling murals. The list goes on, really. Clair's drive, coupled with his natural skills, allowed him the opportunity to create a seemingly countless collection of art, paintings, and poetry.

On January 8, 2012, Clair's life on this earth came to an end. He'd achieved so much on this earth, and God wanted him in Heaven. I'm told that before he passed from this earth to his new heavenly home, he was aware that he had reached the end. He knew that his time on earth was done and he was ready to meet his Maker. I'm also told that just before he breathed his last breath, he said his last word. "Yep."

Yep. Only one man could say so much in just one word. Yep, he had done it. He had given his life to the Lord. He had remained true to his one and only love, Myrtle. He had raised his children to grow and love the Lord and they, in turn, passed this on to their children. At the time of his death, Clair's grandchildren were raising their little ones to love and serve the Lord based on truths Clair had taught to his children a generation before.

January 8th is a sad day. It's the day this earth lost an honorable man to death. But I rejoice. The void in my life as a result of his passing is irreplaceable, but I rejoice in the knowledge that the next time I see my grandfather...Clair Shadwell Smith...we will be in Heaven. And because I believe that our personalities in Heaven will be reflective of those we had on earth, I already know what to expect. My Poppaw is gonna pick me up and twirl me around. And maybe, after that, we'll take a stroll down the streets of gold.



Revelation 21:4 "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain..."